Every Day in an Elevator
by CelianAdellanie
Summary: Not everyone who goes to a psychiatrist has deep mental issues, and not everyone who uses an elevator wants to go to a psychiatrist. So what does the famous genius do when faced with errant guests? Idea from a thread I saw a long time ago. Please RXR, and do remember that at the speed of light, time stops and all distance is zero.


**DISCLAIMER**: I wished I owned SKU and an elevator, but, sadly, I own neither.

**In Mikage's Elevator**

Day 1:

The door to the elevator closed, the sign turned to in use. Mamiya cranked up the music and the eerie sounds filled Mikage's ears. He almost shivered. Finally, finally he could begin the true search for eternity. He waited eagerly for the first words.

"Akio Ohtori, acting chairman of Ohtori Academy." Mikage glowered. "Well, you see, the problem is this: I can't find anymore students to bed. I keep searching, but the second I find someone I realize I've already done it to them before." The acting chairman paused. Mamiya had turned off the music, and the elevator was set to going up again. Mikage grumbled as he yanked on the lever.

"Out, please." He said, shooing Akio out of the elevator. "Do you think this is some sort of game?" He slammed the door closed.

"Oh, but it is a game, my dear Nemuro-kun," Akio replied smoothly.

"OUT!" Mikage shouted.

"You were rather harsh with End of the World," Mamiya observed.

Day 4:

"Jun Ikeda, elementary division, Class B," The little boy proclaimed. "It's the other kids… they're so mean!" Mikage thought for a moment. Were there elementary school children that were emotionally scarred? Might as well give the kid a chance.

"Deeper," Mikage urged. "Much deeper."

"They won't let me play jump rope with them because they say I'm no good at it. How will I ever get better at jump rope?" Mikage winced, then looked at Mamiya, who nodded.

"Well… the path you must take has not been prepared for you," Mikage said a tad awkwardly. Mamiya sighed in exasperation at his words, and the little boy started to cry. Mamiya tapped his foot, watching Mikage expectantly.

"Fine, fine," he amended. "We'll teach you how to jump rope." At the end of the day, Mikage knew how to play Double Dutch better than he had as a child. After his feet got caught on the rope 100 times. It was extremely humiliating, but at least Mamiya smiled.

Day 9:

A woman with brilliant orange curls alike to Juri's an a boy who looked quite similar to Miki stepped into the elevator, silent. Mikage waited. Minutes ticked by. he couldn't run the elevator without any negative energies. "Is this elevator ever going to work?" the Juri-like woman complained.

"I'm sure it's just a small maintenance problem, the Mickey #2 assured her.

"Maintenance? Ohtori doesn't do maintenance." She grumbled. "I need to get to the car garage as soon as possible."

"Do you have the right elevator?" Mikage asked. "This is the elevator of the Black Rose Seminar. Do you need redirection?"

"Oh," Mickey #2 said, bonking himself on the head. "We're in an alternate universe, Miss Juri. I was sure it was Ohtori, though."

"It's alright, Mickey," Juri #2 said. "Let's just see where this takes us."

"Absolutely not!" Mikage objected. Duelists pulling soul sword out of their alternate selves? Way too risky, even for the Boys of the Black Rose.

Day 11:

"Sachiko Inoue, Guidance Counselor," the lady said sitting down primly and adjusting her retro eyeglasses. "I am at my wits end. I try and I try, but it never works." Hmm, there could be a lead here. Self-doubt was always good…

"Deeper. Much deeper."

"That Utena Tenjou keeps on wearing that boy's uniform, those three girls keep on gossiping, and that darned monkey-mouse creature or whatever it is keeps eating my lunch!"

It was silent for a long pause.

"That's it?" Mikage asked with obvious disappointment.

"Surely you understand the importance of one's daily lunch box." Mamiya and Mikage looked at each other, then shrugged. They hadn't had to eat in a few decades, and even then, only the occasional poptart and tea.

Day 16:

"Chuchu Chuchuchuchu, chuchu chu," the monkey-mouse squeaked. Mikage felt like setting a whole other research building on fire. He was a computational scientist, not a zoologist! How did he come from revolutionizing the world to playing psychiatrist to a sentient monkey-mouse?

"Awh," Mamiya cooed, hugging the creature. He turned to Mikage. "He came to threaten you not to go against the Rose Bride or her Prince lest you want to face an inconceivable amount of pain.

"A monkey-mouse is threatening me? Seriously?" Chuchu leapt out of Mamiya's arms, miniature Sword of Dios in hand, and started stabbing at Mikage. The scuffle was brief, ending with Mamiya confiscating the sword and Mikage causing the monkey-mouse to inflate into a balloon-like object. At that moment, Utena Tenjou ran up the steps.

Day 17:

"If the egg's shell does not break, the chick will die without being born. We are the chick, the world is our egg. If the world's shell does not break, we will die without being born. Smash the world's shell! For the revolution of the world!" Mikage groaned, turned off the music, and pulled on the up lever.

"This is the wrong elevator," he informed the Student Council.

"No, it is not the wrong elevator," replied Touga pompously. "The End of the World gave us permission to use it for emergency meetings. And you're not even supposed to be here anymore. Graduate from this place." Mikage rubbed his temple, then set the elevator for maximum speed going down. At the speed of light, the elevator was even faster than the gondola in the Dueling Arena. Even if it did leave the Student Council members, well, squished. Mikage left Ohtori satisfied.


End file.
